My Wandering Mind

Good Morning,

I woke up this morning to a very cool Phoenix after a day and night of rain. The plants are happy and everything is quiet. I had a cup of coffee and a bagel for breakfast and now sipping on my first jug of water.

Today is my roomie's official birthday. She is now a fabulous 41! In a month I will join that age along with one of my dearest sisters, Taj. Seeing that I am lacking a cash flow at present moment, my birthday gift to Camille has been folding all her laundry for her. The girl has tons of it. She is a fashionista! God/dess love her. TEE HEE!!!! I actually enjoy doing that for her. She is an art teacher to 900 students! Can you believe that?! I simply don't know how she does it! I try to help her out there too when I can. She scans or takes pics of all the students projects and uploads them to a website called Artsonia. This is a place where parents can go and see their child's work and if they want, order gifts with their artwork on it. It is the coolest thing ever! Camille even posts the stuff she did while instructing the kids on a project. I have already bought notecards with one of the pieces I love.

See what I mean?!

It's crazy, I have so many things running through my mind right now; I just don't know how to get it out and sound legible. LOL!

My sister, Taj is on my mind a lot these days too. She and I are only a couple months apart (that is another post) and we have been partners in crime since we were 15 yrs old. She is such a loving and compassionate woman. When she lays her hand on your arm, shoulder or hand...you feel such incredible soft and loving energy coming from her. As many of us, she has had her challenges in life (that is her story and I won't tell it.) and even through it all, she does everything she can to let the people around her know how much she loves them.  And there is nothing like visiting her. She always have the most tasty baked goods and a great cup of coffee and then you are on your way to a wonderful time connecting with her. I love you Tajie!!! I found this pic of us from high school in a scrapbook our mother, Yile put together. It's blurry but that is what I get trying to take  a pic with my phone.

Gosh the memories that flood in with that picture. Huntington Beach, California!!! I am surprised our parents lived through that time with their sanity in tact. LOL! What I would do to have that body now!  I need to get tan again. I looked great with sunkissed cheeks.

I cannot believe at that time I was not happy with my body. I miss me. I have put on so much packaging and I know for the most part why. I just wish it was not so out of control now. I know I am a pretty woman, but the rest of me...not pretty. I am hoping that I get a lot of clarity after reading the book Full Heart/Satisfied Belly. So far a good read.

What I wish I can do is be able to have a team with an exceptional doctor, therapist, nutritionist, fitness trainer(s) and eventually a cosmetic surgeon (cause I know once this weight is mostly gone...there will be a lot of skin left over that will need to be removed.)

My wish is that my only responsiblity would be to focus on me (and my kids); my health, my diet, my exercise and my heart/mind. There are so many things I want to do, that currently is not a reality because of my weight and health. Because I know when I am happy my kids are happy. It's like a domino effect. I want to be able to do things with my kids. I want them to experience a theme park but I cannot go because I cannot be on the rides (yes because of my size.) I am unable to do all that walking without serious pain in my back, knees and feet. I want to play with them, go hiking or camping with them. Go on vacations with them. I want to have great pics of us doing these things. There is so much to do out there in the world and I have closed myself off to these experiences because of my weight. URG!

I will continue this on another post.

Hope you all have an incredible day full of love, happiness and success!